Parenting Information
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Parenting Your Teenager: Late Vs. Too Late, And 5 More Sure Fire Tips
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a parent tell me something like this,"I know we should do something about how we handle our son/daughter, but it's really too late since they are almost 18."Sorry, but you are wrong.While it certainly may be late in the game, it is never too late. I often find myself thinking I wish I could have worked with this teen/family/marriage sooner. It's always easier to work with a problem when it has first begun, because there is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice yet still small enough to solve easily.One of the many reasons that it is never too late is that in many ways, adolescence now lasts until about 25 anyway.Modeling Bad ChoicesYou really can't, with any fairness, get very mad at ...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: Of Course You Can Search Your Teens Room
Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we wonder whether he's doing more stuff. We have reason to believe he has been hiding drugs in his room, and we're wondering whether we should go into his room to see whether we can find anything. Some parents we've talked to say yes. Others say, "Don't invade his privacy because you will lose his trust." What do you think we should do?A. Based on more than 25 years of working with teen-agers and families, I suggest:Absolutely, yes, go check out his room.I say this for at least ...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: Responding To A Poor Progress Report In School
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it looks as if no matter how hard she works she'll get all C's and D'...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: Self-decorating Or Self-harm - How To Tell The Difference
Q. I need your help with a question about my teen-age daughter. Getting her ears pierced was no big deal,...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: Teens And Violence
I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:"How can all this teen violence be happening?"My questions are:"How could this not be happening"and"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"
Parenting Your Teenager: The 4 Ds Of Time With Family
How would you like to have more time? Of course we all want more time. There are just two problems: 1. We can't add more hours to the day; 2. Even if we could add more hours, we would just fill them up with the same stress we have now.What we can do is use our time differently. And I don't mean buy a new schedule planner. Adapted from the work of Stephen Covey and Anthony Robbins, here are some skills for creating more time in your life and some suggestions for what to do with the time.Distraction. Distra...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: The Bottom Line Issues
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what are the typical bottom-line issues?A. Not surprisingly, the bottom line issues for parents are very different than the bottom line issues for the teen.For the parents, the bottom line issues look something like this:They see the kid they raised from an infant changing right before their eyes, usually getting more and more out of control. Their concerns can run through a whole range of problems - from slipping grades, bad attitudes and little or no communication all the way to depression, running away or drugs.The bottom line is that the parents are scared, and they want their nice kid b...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: The Power Struggle
Q: My husband and I are at a loss as to what to do with our two teenagers. They have been great kids and all of a sudden it seems like we are in teenage hell! We keep fighting to see the kids we once knew, and they keep fighting to get their own way. We have been considering family counseling, and really would like to know what goes on in counseling. Can you give us some help with our kids and what to expect in counseling?Sure can. Here's how it usually goes. I get a call from a w...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: The Teenager And The Gorilla
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a lot about the difference between controlling and managing teenagers. What's the difference........., and how do we do it in our family?"A: In the counseling and seminars that I do, I have found that many parents are confused about the difference between controlling and managing their teenagers. In my experience, there is not only a huge difference, it's "the difference that makes a difference" when it comes to successfully dealing with the teen ye...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?A. Good questions. One way is to determine how much trust the teen-ager has earned.To use a banking metaphor, if the teen-ager has made enough deposits in the ``trust bank,'' then he or she has earned the privilege of making a few withdrawals - that is, the teen has...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: Truth Or Lie?
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking and even shocking bulletin for you:According to research conducted at the prestigious-sounding Josephson Institute of Ethics in, of course, California, here are two startling pieces of information:1) 92 percent of teens surveyed admitted to lying to their parents at least once in the last year.2) 78 percent of teens surveyed admitted to lying to their teachers at least once in the past year.Have you gotten up off the floor yet?Please forgive my sarcasm, but to put it in the language of the age group surveyed:...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens
What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying not to fix their problems.Learning to trust in ways I've never had to before.We hurt when they hurt.Being lied to.Trying to continue to discipline.Having the consequence ``fit the...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: What Teens Say About Parents
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying to control you.Parents not understanding the things you have to deal with.Having to deal with school.Being accepted by friends.Having someone really close to you leave you.Being blamed for almost everything because we are teen-agers.Living with divorced parents and having no say in where you go.Dealing with boy/girl friends.Trying to deal with a parent who doesn't want to understand and take time to listen to your comments.Not being financially independent.Meeting parents' expectations and never being good enough.Knowing your parents are right.What's best about being a teenGetting away with immature behavior.The chance to tr...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: What To Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age girl crying alone. My first impulse was to go over and check on her. Worried that my approach might be taken the wrong way, I just smiled at her and went in the store to meet my wife. I forgot about it until we came out to the car.Same girl, still crying.My wife went to see what was going on. Turns out that the girl was upset because she'd been treated badly by some friends and felt left out. My wife told her she went through that, too, as a kid. Then the girl hit her with the big question:"Does it get any better?"Does it? Well, yes and no.The yes part...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: When Is It Ok To Quit?
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and has played an instrument and/or played in band all her life. Now all of a sudden she wants to quit lessons and quit band. Is this normal or a warning sign of something bad? Should we let her quit?A. There are times when wanting to drop something that has been a big part of your life can indicate a problem in need of immediate attention. If there are any other signs that your daughter might be depressed or using drugs, then you will want to get her two appointments - one with her doctor and one with a family counselor who works with teenagers.If she's not depressed and/or doing drugs, then dropping an instrument and band may be a decision that she is ready to make. Certainly she is old enough to mak...(related: Parenting)
Parenting
This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist, and father.The following suggestions will be useful for any parent or caregiver who wants to improve their relationships with their children.In more extreme situations, many of the approaches will still be directly useful, and the overall approach is a guide for what the extreme situation needs to come back to.It would also be very useful to attend relationship and/or family counselling to uncover the deeper sources of any family conflict.Main points:
Parenting---roots And Wings
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark card adage that goes something like this: Parents give their children two great gifts---one is roots, the other is wings. This is what I address in this article.As parents, we pray for our children's safety, health and happiness. We do everything we know to help make these things happen for them.At some point in our lives, we developed the principles and values that guide our life decisions. Our parents and/or caregivers certainly had influence over this but not complete determination. Some of us gladly adopted the values of...(related: Parenting)
Parentingyour Teenager: Dont Buy The I Dont Know And I Dont Care Attitude
"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words more than a few times in my office. Sometimes I think "I don't know and I don't care" is the universal teen tribal motto.So what to do?I remember working with one kid who said absolutely nothing in the first session but "I don't know and I don't care" at least 10 times each.So just before he came for his next session, I wrote "I don't know" on one side of a sheet of paper and "I don't care" on the other side. I then taped the piece of paper to the couch I thought he was most likely to sit on.In comes the kid, cracks up laughing, tapes the paper to his shirt, and then begins to talk for the rest of the meeting.3 Keys for How to RespondI tell you the above story because it offers three keys on how to respond t...(related: Parenting)
Parents And Children Working Together
When parents help their children learn to read, they help open the door to a new world. As a parent, you can begin an endless learning chain: You read to your children, they develop a love of stories and poems, they want to read on their own, they practice reading, and finally they read for their own information or pleasure. They become readers, and their world is forever expanded and enriched.This newsletter focuses primarily on what you can do to help children up to 10 years of age. During these years you can lay the foundation for you child to become a lifelong reader.There is no need to w...(related: Parenting)
Parents Complaints --- Arrogant Public Schools Turn A Deaf Ear
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation and participation in their children's education. They complain when parents don't show up for parent-teacher conferences or push their children to do their homework.Yet this constant cry for parent cooperation is often a smoke screen pretense to make parents think they have some control over their children's education. In most cases, parents have no such control. Teachers and principals may placate parents or ask for their cooperation, but they rarely ...(related: Parenting)
Parents - Create An Emotionally Healthy Connection With Your Child
"I could have helped you if I would have known, I'm your mother. I protect you against everybody in this world. I never thought to protect you from yourself." This was a headline in a local newspaper. Her daughter had committed suicide the night before. The mother involved must be going crazy with grief as she thought she knew her child so well. But sometimes we don't and sometimes we get caught off guard by believing that we do.Creating a loving emotional connectio...(related: Parenting)
Parents Dealing With Worry And Fear
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at home.Hope you can help me, M.J.Dear M.J.,This really isn't a parenting question. It is a question about your own self and ...(related: Parenting)
Parents Demand Dumbed-down Tests:an Unintended Bad Consequence Of The No Child Left Behind Act
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making the problem of cheating, low academic standards, and public schools lying to parents, even worse. Under this Act, the Department of Education now requires students to pass standardized tests. Failing schools will lose federal funding and other perks if their students consistently turn in a bad performance on these tests.Holding schools and teachers accountable, and expecting students to demonstrate what they've learned, sounds like a good idea. But this Act means that badly-taught students, victims of dumbed-down texts and bad teaching methods like new math and whole-language instruction, now have to pass difficult standardized tests they are not ready for.As a result, millio...(related: Parenting)
Parents --- Homeschooling Can Take A Lot Less Time Than You Think
The time you will need to teach your children the essentials - reading, writing, and arithmetic - is much less than you think. Let me quote author and former public-school teacher John Gatto from his wonderful book, Dumbing Us Down:"Were the colonists geniuses? [i.e., why did our colonial forefathers have literacy rates close to 90 percent?]. No, the truth is that reading, writing, and arithmetic only take about 100 hours...(related: Parenting)
Parents Need To Vent Anger! Try These 4 Steps To Serenity
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called me today and told me a very troubling story. She told me on a T.V. news program she heard of a mother who was driving with her four year old child. The mother became angry with her child and co...(related: Parenting)
Parents Of Teens: Do You Ever Ask Why Is She So Mean To Me?
Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty attitudes expressed by your teenager? Teenagers can make their parents feel pretty badly at times; if they only knew how much their words and actions sometimes hurt us they'd probably stop. Perhaps.It isn't a developmental necessity that teenagers be mean to their parents, but enough of them demonstrate this be...(related: Parenting)
Parents Of Toddlers And Pre-schoolers: 7 Universal Laws
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to keep in mind that we are raising our teenager while we raise our toddler. They are essentially the same beast.2. The Law of CPRHaving little to do with cardiopulminaryresuscitation, the law of CPR states that we need to be Consistent, Resistant and Persistent with our kids.3. The Law of WordsOur little ones need to be taught to "use their words, not their hands" when dealing with conflicts.4. The Law of MineIn the world of a young child everything is mine. If I am playing with it, it's mine. If you are playing with it, it's mine. If I played with it yesterday and...(related: Parenting)
Parents Rights Violated By Public School Compulsory Attendence Laws
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental rights. These laws force almost forty-five million children to sit in often boring classes six to eight hours a day for twelve years. Compulsory attendance laws force parents to hand over their children to state employees called teachers, principals, and administrators, whose competence they must take on faith.Compulsory attendance laws show contempt for parents' rights because they are based on the notion that the state owns our children for twelve years, and that parents should have little say in the matter.In effect, these laws allow state officials to legally kidnap millions of c...(related: Parenting)
Parents Role In Helping With Car Wash Fundraisers
As a parent you will be asked to assist with your children's car wash fundraiser activities. It is important that you take an active role in these endeavors. Car washing builds hard work ethic and teaches children the value of money. Please read below and see the advice that top car washing fundraising expert Lance Winslow gives to non-profit groups regarding the parent's roles and responsibilities in car wash fundraising.PARENT'S HELPIf your group is a youth group you should enlist the help of the parents at a general meeting. Tell them of the importance of this fundraiser to your budget. Tell them you need the money and anything the group doesn't earn the parents will have to come up with. Make sure they supervise their child and allow them to sell tickets, drive them...(related: Parenting)
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Busy, Working Parents --- 22 Ways To Homeschool Your Kids
If you're a single parent or a married couple on a tight budget so that both parents have to work, you may worry about finding the time and energy to homeschool your children, but it can be done. It comes down to planning and scheduling your time.Most home-schooling parents teach their children about two to four hours a day and turn out well-educated kids. So the problem is how to squeez...(related: Parenting)
Some Tips For Healthy Parenting
Looking back through my files I've come across several great tips for Parents. Here are just a few that I hope will be helpful to you as you invest your day in raising o...(related: Parenting)
Teaching Preschool Color And Shapes With Family Games
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with Mom and Dad--can yours?Sometimes we all take a break in the middle of the day and play a game together. Most of the time, I just make sure we play games so that we all have fun together. I can get so caught up in things that I'll go from one task to the next and forget to have a little fun.Today, after several pleas from my kids, I got out the Uno cards. Today I would be playing with six-year-old Ryan and three-year-old Maegan. In the past, Maegan would sit on my lap and help me with my cards; but today, she wanted to be her "own team"."Yep," she answered and put down a yellow card on top of the pile.Round and round we went, with Maegan putting d...(related: Parenting)
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